DeflategateHate

In the battle of Roger Goodell vs. Tom Brady for Deflategate, the winner is... Tom Brady

When it comes to the four major sports in the U.S (football, baseball, basketball, hockey), there seems to be a flaw with all of them in terms of the league itself.  The NFL has concussions and too many off the field issues, baseball has steroids and cheaters, the NBA product had cheating at one point and the product itself is usually not as compelling until the postseason, while hockey has too many injuries, as well as the concussion issue.  Personally to me, these are all bothersome and hurt all the major sports, but like most fans, we put up with all this and more because we love sports and the feeling it gives us to watch them and be a part of it.  I was never into sports growing up or athletic, but I got into it as I got older, I now follow/watch it religiously.  It's a good hobby/passion, and being so close to it makes you really feel connected, whether your team wins or loses.  Being in Boston, I'm spoiled because our teams have won so many titles in the past decade.  I should be used to it, but I'm not, of course, so when the Patriots beat the Seahawks in this year's Superbowl, obviously, I was rejoiced, but then Deflategate started, which took away from the game and really tested the patience of fan and people everywhere.

I remember the first time I heard about Deflategate, I didn't think it was a big deal, initially, because it supposedly happened during the Colts in the AFC title game, which the Patriots won handily.  "What's the big deal?" I thought, only a few psi (whatever that was), would that have made a difference?  Probably not, since the Patriots were the better team, regardless, and won by such a large margin, but the fact it happened at all, caused the league to act.  They had to, after all the mishaps they had had in the past year plus.  Tom Brady had to give a press conference, which I admit, he did not come off good in, but it was before the Superbowl; the man had other things on his mind.  And even when he won the Superbowl, it didn't stop there.  More information came out, there was the Wells report, which said things he did and didn't do, as well as information about other employees.  And of course, the big one, Roger Goodell suspended Tom Brady for 4 games.  Four games, are you serious?!  This from the guy who only gave Ray Rice a 2 game suspension, initially, for hitting his fiance in an elevator, on tape, which everyone saw.  You messed that decision up bad, but don't take it out on us.  You're the commissioner; it's your job to get decisions right and admit when you're wrong, but Goodell did neither of that, because he knew he didn't have any substantial evidence on Tom Brady, and the league had to win a case after how bad it looked during the domestic abuse cases, as well as losing during Bountygate.  But justice prevailed, because with how Goodell handled everything, as well as having little evidence, Tom brady got his 4 game suspension revoked and will be back starting the season opener in less than a week from now.

Now, I know I left a lot of things out about the case, but that's because we won't know more until more is done.  And this case has been beaten to death, to the point that is has become tiresome to even waste energy on.  Everyone has talked about it so much the past few months, that we forgot football is a sport and the Patriots won the Superbowl.  But now that it's over, we can get back to focusing on football, which is so close to starting it's regular season.

A few final thoughts, though.  I think the NFL should count its blessings.  Yes, they lost Deflategate for now, and look like a laughingstock, once again, but no other major sports league in the U.S. makes as much money as they do or gets the ratings they do.  They can afford to look bad, because NFL fans will never leave them, which is a luxury I think they often overlook.  Do you remember how bad the NBA and NHL were after their lockouts?  Or baseball in 1994 after the strike?  It was in a bad state that I think it is still recovering from.  The NFL has so many off the field issues, it is ridiculous, if you count domestic and drug abuse, as well as neglect with concussions in the past, but it doesn't matter sadly, because the fans will never stop watching it.  The demand for it has never been higher, with the amount of good teams, profit from games, sales, fantasy football, etc.  That is why, like I said, everyone hated Deflategate, because it took away from the game that no one wants to see go away.  And of course, started mainly because of Roger Goodell.

Roger Goodell, it's ironic how his name has become synonymous with parody and jokes.  I remember a few years ago, before I graduated, he gave the commencement speech at my university, which was a big deal, since he was the commissioner of arguably the biggest sports league in the world.  At the time, I remember him having an actual good approval rating with fans alike because he took over for Paul Tagliabue, who left him with a mess to clean up, and handed out fair punishment on head hits.  But look at him now, he has fallen so far.  You hate to see that happen to anyone, especially when he is probably not a bad guy.  And he has a difficulty job having to appeal to both the owners and players, but that's what happens when you have no consistency/credibility, as seen by his past decisions, and face Tom Brady.  Now, he's just another loser and Tom Brady is back, ready to lead the Patriots on another Superbowl defense.  Hopefully, this chapter of controversy is over, but if not, as least we have something to distract us from it the way it did before.  "Are you ready for some football?"  I think... we all are

AJ And Paige

AJ and Paige: Hard to Choose, isn't it?

Recently, in the WWE, there's been a feud of sorts (if you want to call it that) between AJ Lee and Paige.  It started back at Wrestlemania when Paige beat AJ to win the WWE Divas title, ending AJ's record streak as champion.  Regardless of what you think of women's wrestling or the entertainment itself, that's still impressive.  But a few weeks ago, AJ beat Paige to get the title right back.  Since then, they've both had matches, but nothing has really developed since then.  At the Battleground PPV, though, you can tell something is going to happen because they've been hinting at this for some time, which is exciting. 

Now, I'd be lying if I said I was a fan of women wrestling because most of the time, they're just eye candy with no talent.  But these women that are different.  Regardless of their looks and personalities, which are great, they do their job well, and bring some excitement back into the Divas division, which was necessary if they wanted to be taken seriously.  As I get back into wrestling, I want the product overall to be good, but that statement can't be true without the Divas division being good, which I think these two add with their skill set.  Also, I've done my research on AJ and Paige and they both seem like cool, good, hard working people, just trying to make it and do their job.  As a male feminist, it's good to see strong women that people can look up to, so for now and the foreseeable future, good luck ladies!  You'll always have a fan here! 

Can't wait to see what's up ahead <3

Victim Blaming

With my birthday being this past Monday, and me turning another year older, I'd like to think some positives have come with another year of experiences.  But you can never tell right away.  Like many things in life, these things take time.  But one thing that has come with me being another year older is my awareness of what's going on in the world.  Lately, it seems like everyday there is something going on in the news about something happening to a person, like the woman who died posting a Facebook status while driving, or people committing a crime that they expect people to sympathize with.  It's something that I've thought about more since in my summer classes, they've repeatedly asked if we should blame the victim, which is a slippery slope in itself because if I've learned anything, it's that society blames the victim too much and doesn't focus enough on the offender.  But to leave out any blame for the victim would be ignorant, so it's something that I've thought long and hard about.

After reviewing everything over, I do believe that victims deserve some of the blame for their actions if they live a lifestyle that is high risk or just do something stupid.  For example, if they drink or party constantly, I won't feel sorry for them if something bad happens to them.  Even the woman who died posting that status to Facebook, I don't feel sorry for her because she did something stupid.  Is it sad someone died?  Yes, but it's even sadder that her death could have been prevented if she had just been smarter.  It might sounds harsh what I'm saying, but being harsh and stern is the only way to get through to a person sometimes.

A situation where I don't think a victim can be blamed is provoking somebody.  You hear about this all the time with sports fans, or women who dress too provocatively, but situations like that are too random and hard to predict.  And we all have situations like that when that happens, so I don't think we can blame the victim.  It doesn't seem fair, and in the case of women, it sets a double standard.

Of course, in some ways, even I admit to being hypocritical because if something terrible happened to one of my friends or someone I loved, I wouldn't want that.  But I'd like to think they're good people, who make sound decisions, and are smart in how they handle things.  When it comes to things like I see going on in the world, I don't feel sorry for people because they should know better.  Like I said, I may sounds harsh, but I doubt anyone would feel sorry for me, so why should I for them?  Victims have situations where they should be blamed, but that shouldn't always be the case, especially if you don't know the situation.  Know the facts before you pass judgment.

Model Behavior

KATE UPTON!

Did I get your attention?...

No, I don't know Kate Upton (though it would be awesome if I did) or any other supermodel, but something I've noticed is how harsh society is on models, despite the fact they appeal to so many people.  This isn't the first time I've brought it up how society treats women, but it is the first time I've talked about models.  To be honest, I don't pay much attention to them or many celebrity women in general since it's unlikely I'll ever meet them, and I don't know what type of people they are personally, but I have to say, Kate Upton is one of the most attractive women in the world.  She's obviously a beautiful woman, but she seems like a good person, that has worked hard her whole life to get to where she is.  Even if you don't like her, or think she's unattractive, you have to respect that.

One thing I don't like though, are those people who ogle at models or any other celebrities, but criticize them at the same time, or don't care about them?  I don't understand the point of that.  How can you truly get enjoyment from something you barely know?  Or how could you not care about them as human beings?  Like I said above, I don't know Kate Upton, but I wouldn't want to see her get injured, stalked, or hurt, like during a photo shoot.  But there are always those people who don't care, and just want to stare, which is wrong.  Models are people!  They're just doing their job.  They don't deserve to be dehumanized just because they're good looking.  If you act that way, then maybe you should stare deep and hard at yourself.

Hair Fascination

As I sit here playing with my hair, a few thoughts run through my mind.  I need a haircut, I have way too much time on my hands, and hair is just so damn fascinating!  Did I lose you there?  Let me explain.  Hair has always been fascinating to me, just because it's hair.  Women obsess about it and consider it sacrilege to touch or even ask about it, while most guys I know don't care two licks about it.  But to me, hair is cool.  As mine grows out, I can't help but wonder how I must look to another person with my spiky hair.  What about all the gray hairs I have?  People always joke about how cool it'd be to have silver hair like in video games, but no one ever said anything about gray, which means I'm too stressed or something is up with me genetically.  And what about when my hair eventually stops growing.  It's a fate that won't happen to everyone, but I know it will happen to me one day because all the men in my family have some form of hair loss.  So, while I complain about waking up and having to wash and make my hair look neat, I should enjoy the time I get to spend playing with it because one day, it'll be gone. 

Still, there's just so much I don't get about it.  It's a part of us, but it's something we often take for granted.

Too Much Make-Up

Words with different meanings always stand out to me, especially when the two meanings are used so differently.  Take the word make-up, for example.  In sports, if someone has good or bad make-up, that has to do with character issues.  But with cosmetics, make-up is what it is.  Something artificial to enhance someone's looks (sorry if I'm inaccurate with this, but just an opinion).

Make-up has come to my mind separately 4 different times the past few months.  The first time was when I found out one of my friends wore make-up when she went partying; a surprise to me because I think she's beautiful just the way she is (but the club scene is apparently different than anything I'm accustomed to).  The second time I thought about it was in my Psychology and Women class, since it related to the Beauty Myth and women's self esteem, which I found particularly interesting.  And yesterday, I thought about the issue twice.  Once was in class, when one of my friends told the story of how much she used to weigh, which was shocking because I never knew she used to look like that before.  While the other time was when someone who lived in my building walked by and was wearing way too much make-up; it was toxic.

All of these experiences are different, but they have one commonality, which is that we live in a culture that is obsessed with beauty.  I've talked about it before in my other blog post, but this time, I'm focusing on one specific thing.  I understand why make-up is around, and why we all want to look our best, but I think for women and even men who wear it, it is so unnecessary.  You're beautiful for being who you are, and that is something make-up can never do.  All it does is attract the wrong person to you (if you go clubbing), or knock people out, if you wear too much of it.  Since I've never worn makeup before, I can't say firsthand it's really that negative, but anything that has activists angry, isn't natural, or puts a person at risk doesn't sound good to me.  Not to mention, it takes forever for people to put on.  And by the time you're done, you forget why you even bothered putting it on in the first place.

I know women won't change any time, and the cosmetics industry is booming unfortunately from their advertisements and sales, but I hope there comes a day when men and women can look at a mirror and be confident in themselves.  That's good make-up to me.

What People Want

My Psychology and Women class did an activity a few weeks ago that was minor, but left a huge impression on me.  It was this activity called 5 for 5, where my teacher asks us 5 questions in 5 minutes which we have to answer as best we can.  Most of the time, the questions were standard, like what did you think of class, or do you have any thoughts/concerns about the class, but one question she asked really stuck out to me.  What are the three most important things to you about relationships?  Now, because we had been learning about Intimate Partner Violence, this was a touchy subject with lots of information new to me.  But it also stood out because of how I feel about love, which is idealistic and optimistic; it didn't always used to be like that though, especially with my struggles and how I've seen others handle it.  This was a minor question, but it was something that required a lot of thought.

I thought long and hard about the question for a few seconds, with countless words going through my head: honesty, love, communication, friendship, effort, trust, equality, happiness, etc. among others.  If it were possible, I would have listed all of them, but I could only pick three, which was not an easy thing to do.  I knew things like honesty and love had to be there, but things like communication and happiness intertwined.  It was not easy to do, but in the end, I picked love, honesty, and effort as the most important things in a relationship in that order.  Putting love first could be seen as negative to some, but I meant love in the sense that it was important for someone to actually have feelings and care about you as a person, which mixes in with many things.  Honesty speaks for itself, and things like communication and trust went with effort.  I handed in my answers feeling okay, but then instantly wondered if I had made a mistake.  Then again, how can you make a mistake on how you feel?

A few weeks later, the results were read for what both men and women thought was necessary for a relationship.  I forget the women's first choice, but honesty and sense of humor made their top 3, which I thought was brilliant and amazing, since sense of humor is something I think about all the time that seems obvious, yet it didn't even cross my mind once.  For the men, they picked love, honesty, and communication, which startled everyone in the class.  Now, the results may not seem shocking since obviously a lot of people thought the same things were necessary, but because of what we've been learning in our class, it would seem as though most people desire something sexual or artificial in a relationship, but we proved that relationships were changing with the times, and that some men and women wanted the same things now compared to before.

I've thought about everything in depth since then, and still wonder what the most important things are to a relationship, but I honestly think there isn't one answer.  It's a variety of answers, like the ones I listed before since many people want different things.  But while we all want a number different things, one thing I think we can all agree on is that we all want to be happy and help make the people we love and care about happy as well. 

What do you think though?  Are there things you value in more in a relationship than others?  And do you seem similarities between what men and women want, or do you think they are different?

The Burden Of Beauty

In my Psychology and Women course at school, we just got through the chapters discussing disordered eating, which is a scary thing for those of you who don't know much about it.  We learned about all the different types of disorders that are out there, the facts or myths about the beauty myth (depending on how you see things), and the enormous amount of pressure and insecurity women must go through daily because they are always judged by their appearance.  It's a terrible thing, but unfortunately the way things are.

As I was reading, like most times in my other classes, I was hit with a revelation.  Even though I was a man, I could relate to a lot of issues these women go through.  I've dealt with pressure and insecurities about myself because I used to be morbidly obese, and I sort of went through an eating disorder myself because I used to binge or not eat enough.  It was never to the point of being anorexic, but there were some parallels.  One difference between us obviously though besides biologically, was that I was that I knew I was the way I was because my doctor proscribed it for me.  I was obese because I was a certain weight above normal and it was affecting my health, which is why I started to change the way I am.  And I think it's worked as I've lost close to 60 pounds, and keep trying to achieve my overall goal of healthy weight and blood pressure.

That brings me to women.  As I said, it's terrible they are constantly judged and stigmatized by society, but they have the ability to overcome it because they have the ability to overcome anything.  I mean look at their feminist movements having the right to equal education and voting.  If you learn or research about it like I have, it's really inspiring stuff.  What I have a problem with, is when society affects a woman so much, that they think they need to lose weight or be more beautiful because it's necessary to succeed in life, when that isn't the case at all.  I think that's what society wants because they want people to use their money and buy their products.  But most women are beautiful just the way they are.  They don't need to lose weight or anything; they just need to feel confident and act like themselves.  I know it's difficult because society is so critical, but eventually gets through it.

The important thing you all should know is that only a small percentage of people will ever look like models (based off genetics), and that people in advertisements and magazines have their photos airbrushed most of the time, so that's not a realistic way of how to look.  I mean, how could a person look so perfect when there's no such thing as a perfect person?  So the point is, always be yourself.  Don't ask yourself if something makes your butt look big, or if you're fat?  Chances are you're fine the way you are.  And if you ever want to be sure, ask your doctor because a professional opinion helps the most when society clouds our minds with mixed messages.

Now to be honest, this topic only came to me because of class and because I have friends who constantly say they're not beautiful when they are.  I wish people could see themselves the way I see them though since then they'd see how wonderful they really are because of everything else.

Misogyny In Society

Recently, I was made aware of an situation that occurred on sports radio, where Ted Johnson, former New England Patriots linebacker, insulted ex-teammate Vince Wilfork's wife by calling her ugly.  It already looks bad enough as it is on the surface, but digging deeper into it, this situation is a small example of misogyny and it's role in society.

Misogyny, for those of you who don't know, is having an intense hate/dislike for women.  I'm not breaking any new ground by saying it's everywhere, but my question is why that's the case?  Women are human beings just like men, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to people.  No matter where I go, I can't escape someone criticizing them, whether it's on TV, the radio, or whenever I'm around people, and they're saying stuff like "Women suck at driving".  It just isn't right, especially when people are generalizing about things that may not be true.  People don't like it when it happens to them, so I don't think they should be doing it to women specifically, especially when we all have faults. 

I'm not saying misogyny is wrong just because I'm a feminist; I'm saying it's wrong because it causes a lot of negativity, and takes away the importance of women in society.  This isn't the 18th and 19th century when women had no roles.  This is the 21st century, where women can do anything now, and they deserve to be respected for it.