August is over and September has officially started. Nothing new in the grand scheme of things; it's something we're all used to if you've been alive on this Earth long enough. But this time, for me, it's different because I just had one of the most memorable Augusts and summers I've ever had in my life, for better or worst. In the past, I've done posts about months and time periods, but rarely do I ever do them feeling this enlightened.
The past summer was memorable for me for many reasons, it was the first time I ever went into the summer with a job, the first time almost all of my friends were gone, and for the first time ever, I had a serious crush that I actually liked, among many other things. Everything as a whole, was challenging. Work-wise, it was difficult because if you know me and my past, I've never worked before and the process was so new. For 10 months prior, I had been job searching, updating my resume, and going on numerous interviews to no avail. And in some cases, blizzard-like conditions because of living in Boston. Once I finally got my job in a supermarket, I thought it would be easier and I'd have more spare time because I was part time to start, and I was working in food, so I thought "how hard could it be"? But that quickly changed fast, as the work was so much to handle to start, and my department went through a lot of changes, so I was quickly bumped up to full time. I tried to be more confident than I had been in school when I dropped classes so quickly, but I couldn't handle it in this situation, nearly quitting after the second day. But I stuck through it, made mistakes a long the way like any person, but with training, and time to get more comfortable in the situation, I've thrived since then, becoming a better worker, and having more input on the team, which has made me proud of how far I've come in just a short time. Sometimes, I wish I just had more confidence in myself, but I guess it takes time. It also helps that I have great coworkers who don't just treat me as coworkers, but friends, and they put me in an atmosphere to succeed.
Friends coming and going is something we're all used to. As we've gotten older, it just happens. But it's something that is still hard for me to get used to, since I've been so used to having my friends around me my whole life, whether it was for school, hanging out, or just to get advice. They've been there, so much that I refer to them as "The Gang". That's why this summer has been so challenging. It's the first summer where almost all my friends are gone, whether they've moved or are just busy working. There have been ones who are still here, and we've hung out a few times, but it's not the same without everyone else in "The Gang" together. Luckily, I have had things that have made me take my mind off the fact my friends haven't been around like work, and I have met new friends I can hang out with or talk to in the meantime. And for some of my friends, it's not all good-bye since we still find ways to communicate, like through texting or social media, which is a relief for me, because life is too difficult to go through it alone.
Love, we all know about it! I certainly talk about it enough. It's one of the best feelings in the world when it works, but when it doesn't, it's a pain that is hard to describe or get rid of, especially if you've felt it so many times. It's ironic how universal the feeling of love is, but the definition/experience varies between people, but maybe that is part of the beauty of it? Anyways, after the past year+ I had with a past rejection, I was in no mood for love, but I couldn't help it when I saw "her". At my job, the first day I interviewed for it, I saw the most beautiful/gorgeous (put in any adjective you want) woman I have ever seen in my life. It's a phrase I have used before, but I use it sparingly, and I had never been so humbled/put in my place before. Not like this at least. Love at first sight? I didn't believe it at first, but I couldn't take my eyes off her, or believe that no one else was talking to her, despite the fact she was a cashier (maybe they had nothing to buy?) I thought about maybe saying something to her that day, but then decided against it, because if I didn't get the job, we'd probably never see each other again. But, I eventually got the job, and got to know her little by little whenever I could, since we didn't work specifically together. But long story short, things did not work out. I liked her for 3 months, but when I finally had the courage to ask her out, I found out she was taken. Another rejection for me. It's happened to me so many times (in different ways), but I never get used to the feeling; it always makes me so sad to put so much effort into something, only to have the results end the same way. Everyone who knows what happened says I should feel proud for trying, and I do feel that way since this was, to me, one of my first steps into adulthood, asking someone out I didn't know, at work, who I didn't go to school with or know mutually, though my friends. But it stinks to be rejected for what feels like the millionth time, or have your heart played around with rumors or the ups and downs of any pursuit. I'm not as bad as I could be (cause we weren't like bffs), and I know I will move on and eventually like someone else (barring any miraculous change), but I just wanted this to work out so bad; the girl/woman I liked was so wonderful, we seemed to have a lot in common, and she had so many traits I admired. But things don't always go your way. Some guy is very lucky, though, so I hope he appreciates her. As for me, despite the result, I'm just grateful I met someone amazing and experienced the feeling of love, again, after a difficult 2014. It's a good learning experience. Although, it sucks it sort of just ended abruptly, cause who knows... but that is part of life, I suppose.
So, those are some of the major things that happened to me the past summer. It's a lot more in depth than I would usually like to go, but I feel like subscribers and readers deserve it after my long hiatus from blogging. There was still so much that happened this summer I didn't get to talk about, so maybe I will in a future post. For now, though, the summer is over. Maybe not technically in terms of the date, but it is to me in terms of feeling (I'm sure students would agree). It wasn't all good or bad, but it was about experiences and learning. Hopefully, it will lead to me blogging more, again, which I hope to do in the future. As well as me becoming a better person, which I try to do everyday.
No comments:
Post a Comment