Seeing Apink and Why I Love KPop

Bucket lists are a funny thing to me.  Not in that they exist, but the context in which they're used.  Often times, I hear people saying, "I want to do this because it's on my bucket list".  But bucket lists are meant as something you do once, or before you die.  For older people, it makes sense to say that, but when I hear younger people say that, it makes me scratch my head.  Why put limits on yourself when you have a whole lifetime to do something?  And what could be so important that it even requires the term, bucket list?  I always wondered that because nothing in my life had ever seemed that important enough, besides love, which is on everyone's list, as far as I'm concerned.  But after seeing Apink, my favorite KPop/musical group in LA a little over a week ago, I can finally say, I understand what people were talking about. 

Let me backtrack a little, though.  Most people who know me well, enough, know how much I love KPop or Korean music.  But in terms of KPop, I always had trouble choosing or stanning (means being a fan/representative of a group).  There were male groups I loved to listen to like 2PM, SHINee, B2ST, VIXX, INFINITE, Got7, B.A.P.  And in the case of female groups, there was Sistar, Girls Generation, AOA, f(x), etc.  But none of them touched me on an emotional level.  Even 2PM, who was the first group I listened to, that got me into KPop; I loved them, but the connection wasn't there, that I went crazy, bought merchandise, or passionately followed them.  Not to mention, in KPop, usually guys like female groups and women like male groups.  So I wanted a female group to stan.  It was just so hard to find because all idols and groups have good looking members, but it's always been about the music first for me.  So I looked high and low to no avail, which made me give up.

But, that all changed a few months ago, when I went to my first KPop event, KCon2015 in New York/New Jersey.  My brother was in the front seat of the car we were in, and he was playing an endless playlist of KPop songs galore.  It was mostly Girls Generation songs because everyone had heard of them, but I nodded off off and on because I didn't know all their songs or the members, which if I don't know, is a huge turnoff.  I almost fell asleep in the car since it was a long ride, until I heard the song, "Mr. Chu".  Apparently, it was a very popular song the previous year, but I had never heard of it, so I asked my brother who sung the song because it was catchy, and it was getting stuck in my head.  The beat, the vocals, the chorus, it was hitting all the right notes.  I expected my brother to say some random group I had never heard of, but when he said Apink, I was shocked.  I had heard of them before, since they were from the ACube/Cube, the same music company as many of my favorite KPop groups, but I just never knew their music was like that.  So after the insanity and joy that was KCon, I checked out all of APink's latest songs, music videos, you name it.  I thought I might have found the right group, but I took precaution, since this wouldn't be the first time I thought this way before.  Since I had just started buying KPop albums, recently, I bought one of Apink's albums, Pink Blossom, since it had the song, "Mr. Chu", on it.  But after looking through the photobook and listening to all the songs, I bought their whole discography at once; then other stuff, like posters, photos, DVDs, cups, and even pillows.  It was safe to say I really fell for Apink.  After that, I followed them constantly, wherever I could, following their Facebook and Twitter page, and watching their reality shows and performances on various sites.  Most people thought I would get tired of them, but how could I when I loved a group so much?!

Then the unthinkable happened a few months ago.  I had discovered through Twitter that a girl group was going to tour in North America for the first time.  They didn't say who, specifically, but I and most others assumed it was Apink with the hints and silhouette they gave, and of course, like the KPop fans we are, we were right.  Apink was going to tour in North America for the first time, although only in the parts of Canada and the West Coast.  I was excited, but heartbroken that I was unlikely going to be able to see them since I didn't live anywhere close to where they were performing.  But after thinking about it and doing calculations in my head, I determined that I could go if I got the time off from work, and saved up enough money.  I just had to do things in cycles, which I did.  First, I chose the venue I wanted to go to, which was LA, since it seemed the most appealing and I had some family out there.  Then I got the days off approved, which only left the major task of actually getting the tickets.  I still needed plane and hotel tickets, but the Apink tickets were top priority for me.  KPop tickets are hard enough to get, but once they announced there would be Meet + Greet and photo op, I knew that my chances weren't going to be easy.  Being as big of an Apink fan as I now was, I wanted the top ticket and the chance to meet my dream girls.  But luck has historically never been on my side, and I usually mess things up.  Not to mention, my brother had experience buying KPop tickets, and he said that they sold out fast, so my hopes weren't that high.  I desperately wanted to meet Apink, but now that everything I had wanted happened, I would have just been happy to go and cheer them on.  But luck did reward me and my patience, because on the day that the tickets went on sale in LA, I was one of the few 200 or so people that was fortunate enough to get the top tickets, Meet + Greet.  I had never ordered tickets, through a site that had a waiting room, or bidding, but it was a process I didn't want to repeat, again.  It was so stressful, having multiple devices open, waiting for the page to reload, knowing that you were competing against other people.  But I was so glad I got my ticket, I jumped up and down happier than a child getting their favorite toy on Christmas.  I was really going to see Apink, my favorite KPop group, in LA!  Was this really happening?

It was, and let me just say, now that the moment has come and gone, it was a spectacular and memorable experience.  I went on a plane for the first time, to a state that wasn't on the East Coast, and I got to meet/see my favorite group, while meeting a few good people in the process, who have the same passion and love for APink/KPop like I do.  I don't know exactly how all of them feel, but I know lots of people said it was one of the best night's of their lives, which I have to agree with.  I never dreamed months ago, that I would actually see Apink, live, but there I was, 3000 miles away from home, in LA, with hundreds of people, loving and cheering for our favorite group.  It was so emotional.  And the girls put on a show.  They were so nice during the Meet + Greet, which I was fortunate enough to do; I barely remember it, since it was so fast, but I remember that they had small hands and smelled really good.  And I got to talk to my favorite member a little and make eye contact, which was an unforgettable experience.  They had a lot of fan interaction, and of course, performed all their hit songs, which I and everyone else sung along, too.  There was water on stage for the members to drink, but I honestly think I needed it more, since I lost my voice after the first song from screaming.   

A question people are often asked for anything is why they like somebody or something?  It's often complex to answer, but when it comes to Apink, it's one of the few things I can explain clearly.  Yes, they're all beautiful (lots of groups have that), but besides that, they create wonderful music about love and other topics that are instantly relatable to me.  I love male groups because they sing and write love songs that I can relate to, or imagine myself singing to that special person.  When Apink sings, I imagine falling in love with that person or them for that matter.  And in terms human beings, Apink is wonderful.  If you read/watch their interviews or shows, you can see how genuine and sincere they really are.  And how hard they have worked  since their debut in 2011.  There are lots of groups out there, but there are few groups that I have so many similarities with.  That's why I love APink, because they are so close and I can see my friends and I doing the same things they do.  My favorite member or bias is Eunji, the main vocalist of the group, because I love her voice, her acting, her look, everything.  But I do love all the members, Chorong, Naeun, Bomi, Namjoo, and Hayoung because they represent different aspects of myself.  Eunji is outspoken and honest, Chorong is the conservative/introverted strong leader, Bomi is the energy of the group, Naeun is the shy, humble, attentive idol, Namjoo is always happy and cheerful and speaks for the group, while Hayoung, being the youngest, has to work the hardest, but always tries her best, whether in singing and making her members happy.  I suppose when I look at Apink that way, it's no wonder I love them so much.  They say music is something that represents you, and that is no different with Apink.  They just make up 6 different parts that make me who I am.  I used to be unsure with KPop and myself as a person, but because of them, I'm more sure than ever now, and these girls are here to stay <3.

I'm 24, and hoping that I still have lots of years left to live.  I haven't done much in my life, compared to other people my age, but I'm glad I took the risk to go thousands of miles just to see Apink because meeting and seeing them truly was a life changing experience.  It was on my bucket list, but I didn't think it would actually happen.  Now, that is has, though, I hope I'm wrong about bucket lists, and I get to see them again, because I love them so much <3.  To some, KPop is just music, but to me, it's a part of my daily life and routine.  And when I see Apink, I realize they are, too.  Saranghae Apink <3.  FIGHTING!

I'll always remember 1/9/16 as the day I met/saw Apink.  The day has since passed, but I'll always have the memories.

KCONNY & Penn and Teller On Broadway: My Trip to NJ/NY

My trip to NJ started with KCONNY

This might be one of the most obvious questions I've ever asked, but have you ever relived or replayed certain moments in your life over and over again?  I suppose everyone does for the good and bad moments to feel/relive the positive moments, again.  And to of course, learn from the negative ones.  My summer had a mix of both, but one of the best moments I had this past summer was going to KCONNY in New Jersey and seeing Penn and Teller on Broadway the same exact weekend!  I couldn't believe my luck, 4 bucket list things crossed off in a single 3 day span.  I was excited for KCON because of my growing appreciation and love for KPop music, while I've always wanted to Penn and Teller for years, since I love their magic acts.  Once the plans were set, I was excited, and counting down the days until the show.

Waiting for me always sucks because like most people, I would rather experience the thing I'm waiting for right away, rather than waiting.  And you know what they say, often times the anticipation is better than the feeling of the actual thing you're waiting for itself.  But I can say with certainty that was not the case this time.  My initial thoughts on KCON have to do with where the event was held, which was at the Prudential Center in NJ.  I wouldn't have a problem with that normally, except they kept advertising it as NY, which I felt was very misleading; I know that NJ doesn't have the same ring as NY, but I know many who bought tickets, only to be disappointed that the event wasn't where they thought it would be.  And the area itself was so run down and shady.  It was so urban with many random strangers trying to come talk to me.  If it wasn't for the few big restaurants and my hotel, I don't know what I would have done.  Also, I've never been to big conventions, so I don't know if this is the norm, but only the concert was INSIDE!  The convention and everything before was outside, which I had a problem with because that wasn't what I was expecting, and it was so hot out.  At least 90 degrees both days I was in New Jersey, which caused me to sweat and tan quite a bit.  But on the plus side, it was great to interact with other KPop fans, since I rarely get a chance to do that.  I have a friend or two who likes it like I do, but barely anyone I know really likes it.  So having this rare opportunity to connect/talk was a joy, talking about biases, KPOP experiences, and their own experiences on the trip.  And of course, the concert itself was amazing!  Not much to say about it, the music was spectacular!  Seeing all the beautiful people was such a dream because I was finally able to see the artists/idols I love to listen to in person, and presentation wise, it was on point, as every group was introduced one by one.  I only wish the venue had sold out because I thought the audience could have been louder, but we had close to 17,000-19,000 there.  Not bad for the first KCON on the East Coast.  If possible, I'll certainly try to go back next year if I like the artists in the lineup.  But if not, I'll always have the memories, and of course, the KPop albums I bought there, which were my first KPop memorabilia.

On the last day of my trip, I spent it in the Big Apple, NY.  It was mainly to go see Penn and Teller on Broadway, since I had bought the tickets weeks in advance, but it was nice to do some sightseeing.  Because of time constraints, I couldn't go everywhere I wanted, but I checked out certain areas I wanted to, and tried a NY bagel, which I thought was delicious (albeit the long line).  Once that was out of the way, it was off to go see Penn and Teller, which was a disaster because of the Dominican parade closing down half of Times Square, which almost made me late to the theater.  And the fact that I couldn't find the theater, even with my phone.  While this was happening, I was so pissed off at the fact I could miss the opening act, being such a huge Penn and Teller fan that I was, and the fact I paid close to $300 to sit in the first row.  But I got to the theater with 2-3 minutes to spare.  I was happy to find the place I needed to be, but in no mood to talk.  As soon as the show started, all my negativity went away, and I was fixated on the show.  It was great seeing Penn and Teller, live, doing all the tricks I had become accustomed to seeing online.  They were a lot bigger than I thought they'd be, but that was sort of what I expected.  My only minor complaint was that I didn't see some of the tricks I wanted (like the Magic Bullet), but considering the small stage and the fact we only had 90+ minutes, I think I made out alright with what I saw.  And I had a chance to meet them, which I would have done, if not for the long line and the fact I had a time limit to get back.  Next time, though, hopefully.

So, all in all, that was my trip to NJ/NY.  It had its downs, but was mostly a wonderful experience for me.  It's ironic how initially, I didn't want to go on the trip because I didn't think I could get time off from work, and because of the cost of it.  But I'm glad I did, because I rarely get to do things like this.  And financially, besides things I need to use my money on, like student loans, my money is just going to waste, so why not use it on something to live out one of my dreams or things on my bucket list.  You only live once, and I'm not getting any younger.  Besides that, I got the rare chance to bond with my brother, which we haven't done much our whole lives.  So, if I can take away anything from this trip, it's the fact I was fulfilled in so many ways, much more than I was expecting. 

My trip ended in NY with Penn and Teller

August is Over: The Summer That Was...

August is over and September has officially started.  Nothing new in the grand scheme of things; it's something we're all used to if you've been alive on this Earth long enough.  But this time, for me, it's different because I just had one of the most memorable Augusts and summers I've ever had in my life, for better or worst.  In the past, I've done posts about months and time periods, but rarely do I ever do them feeling this enlightened.

The past summer was memorable for me for many reasons, it was the first time I ever went into the summer with a job, the first time almost all of my friends were gone, and for the first time ever, I had a serious crush that I actually liked, among many other things.  Everything as a whole, was challenging.  Work-wise, it was difficult because if you know me and my past, I've never worked before and the process was so new.  For 10 months prior, I had been job searching, updating my resume, and going on numerous interviews to no avail.  And in some cases, blizzard-like conditions because of living in Boston.  Once I finally got my job in a supermarket, I thought it would be easier and I'd have more spare time because I was part time to start, and I was working in food, so I thought "how hard could it be"?  But that quickly changed fast, as the work was so much to handle to start, and my department went through a lot of changes, so I was quickly bumped up to full time.  I tried to be more confident than I had been in school when I dropped classes so quickly, but I couldn't handle it in this situation, nearly quitting after the second day.  But I stuck through it, made mistakes a long the way like any person, but with training, and time to get more comfortable in the situation, I've thrived since then, becoming a better worker, and having more input on the team, which has made me proud of how far I've come in just a short time.  Sometimes, I wish I just had more confidence in myself, but I guess it takes time.  It also helps that I have great coworkers who don't just treat me as coworkers, but friends, and they put me in an atmosphere to succeed.

Friends coming and going is something we're all used to.  As we've gotten older, it just happens.  But it's something that is still hard for me to get used to, since I've been so used to having my friends around me my whole life, whether it was for school, hanging out, or just to get advice.  They've been there, so much that I refer to them as "The Gang".  That's why this summer has been so challenging.  It's the first summer where almost all my friends are gone, whether they've moved or are just busy working.  There have been ones who are still here, and we've hung out a few times, but it's not the same without everyone else in "The Gang" together.  Luckily, I have had things that have made me take my mind off the fact my friends haven't been around like work, and I have met new friends I can hang out with or talk to in the meantime.  And for some of my friends, it's not all good-bye since we still find ways to communicate, like through texting or social media, which is a relief for me, because life is too difficult to go through it alone.

Love, we all know about it!  I certainly talk about it enough.  It's one of the best feelings in the world when it works, but when it doesn't, it's a pain that is hard to describe or get rid of, especially if you've felt it so many times.  It's ironic how universal the feeling of love is, but the definition/experience varies between people, but maybe that is part of the beauty of it?  Anyways, after the past year+ I had with a past rejection, I was in no mood for love, but I couldn't help it when I saw "her".  At my job, the first day I interviewed for it, I saw the most beautiful/gorgeous (put in any adjective you want) woman I have ever seen in my life.  It's a phrase I have used before, but I use it sparingly, and I had never been so humbled/put in my place before.  Not like this at least.  Love at first sight?  I didn't believe it at first, but I couldn't take my eyes off her, or believe that no one else was talking to her, despite the fact she was a cashier (maybe they had nothing to buy?)  I thought about maybe saying something to her that day, but then decided against it, because if I didn't get the job, we'd probably never see each other again.  But, I eventually got the job, and got to know her little by little whenever I could, since we didn't work specifically together.  But long story short, things did not work out.  I liked her for 3 months, but when I finally had the courage to ask her out, I found out she was taken.  Another rejection for me.   It's happened to me so many times (in different ways), but I never get used to the feeling; it always makes me so sad to put so much effort into something, only to have the results end the same way.  Everyone who knows what happened says I should feel proud for trying, and I do feel that way since this was, to me, one of my first steps into adulthood, asking someone out I didn't know, at work, who I didn't go to school with or know mutually, though my friends.  But it stinks to be rejected for what feels like the millionth time, or have your heart played around with rumors or the ups and downs of any pursuit.  I'm not as bad as I could be (cause we weren't like bffs), and I know I will move on and eventually like someone else (barring any miraculous change), but I just wanted this to work out so bad; the girl/woman I liked was so wonderful, we seemed to have a lot in common, and she had so many traits I admired.  But things don't always go your way.  Some guy is very lucky, though, so I hope he appreciates her.  As for me, despite the result, I'm just grateful I met someone amazing and experienced the feeling of love, again, after a difficult 2014.  It's a good learning experience.  Although, it sucks it sort of just ended abruptly, cause who knows... but that is part of life, I suppose.

So, those are some of the major things that happened to me the past summer.  It's a lot more in depth than I would usually like to go, but I feel like subscribers and readers deserve it after my long hiatus from blogging.  There was still so much that happened this summer I didn't get to talk about, so maybe I will in a future post.  For now, though, the summer is over.  Maybe not technically in terms of the date, but it is to me in terms of feeling (I'm sure students would agree).  It wasn't all good or bad, but it was about experiences and learning.  Hopefully, it will lead to me blogging more, again, which I hope to do in the future.  As well as me becoming a better person, which I try to do everyday.

Full House

Growing up, my life revolved around so many TV shows that impacted my life.  There were the fun shows like Pokémon and Digimon, and educational ones on PBS like Arthur and Bill Nye the Science Guy.  But when it came to sitcoms, there were few.  Not counting animates series like the Simpsons, the only sitcoms that I watched were TGIF shows, such as Boy Meets World.  Everyone loves that show, as do I, but its run wasn't perfect (don't get me started on seasons 6-7).  There was a show before that that influenced me even more on that same network, though, which was Full House; that lovable show with Danny, Uncle Jesse, Joey, and his daughters, D.J, Stephanie, and Michelle.

Full House is something that I've revisited recently because my sister bought the complete series a few months ago.  I had wanted to buy and watch it for so long, but I put it off because other things got in the way.  Now that I have the time, though, I'm been rolling through the episodes, already on season 4 in a little over a week.  Re-watching the episodes, it's great to see the lessons/morals in every episode, and the togetherness of family.  Yes, it's cheesy and lame at some parts, but that's the appeal of it.  And honestly, I miss family sitcoms like Full House now because they can't be made now with the way society is.  Not to mention, the role social media plays has killed it altogether.  They can try on ABC Family with their shows, but the feel and writing isn't the same.  I might be being cynical on that subject, but that's how I feel.

So with that in mind, let's celebrate a loved, but underrated show in terms of how often it gets talked about.  Full House isn't the greatest show ever (who can determine that?), but it brought plenty of laughs and tears.  And on weekdays, thanks to syndication, it became a daily part of my life.  Now, thanks to my sister having the seasons, it's like I'm growing up all over again, and it's great.  Here's to the memories past and present!

My First WWE Live Event

I feel like when it comes to things I can talk about forever, the list goes on and on.  Writing, Sports, Love, it doesn't matter.  The only thing that matters is that it has to be something I'm passionate about.  Which is why it might come as a surprise to people that wrestling is one of the few things I can talk about forever.  It's not something I can say I love and can watch any time now, but back in the day, my middle school friends and I talked about it like a religion.  And it was at that time, I watched and followed it to the point I thought it was real (which I thought for awhile until I came to my senses).  Then came a span after when I stopped watching, which could be attributed to various things.  The wrestlers in WWE got worst, the story lines stunk, and I didn't have cable, so I was missing out anyways by only being able to watch Smackdown.  Then like many things in life, I had a rebirth of interest, so the past year or, I've been following WWE again, which culminated at my first live show on Sunday, which was the Money in the Bank PPV.

It was a surprise getting tickets in the first place because I didn't buy them.  My friends bought them for me as a birthday gift, so I was already floored by the gesture.  There are other things I feel like I would have wanted, but any time someone takes the time and effort to get you something, you should appreciate it.  I'm so used to giving that I never get anything, so this was a surprise I accepted with welcome arms.

It didn't hit me that we were actually going to the event until the day of, when I hung out with my friends and physically saw the tickets.  Then once we got to the venue where the Money in the Bank was going on, it was electric.  There were fans everywhere, signs, and chants that set the mood.  And the production value was amazing, with the sets, pyrotechnics, and matches themselves.  Some of the results weren't the way I expected or wanted, but it was still a great show, that made me want to go again in the future if possible, and revived my interest in wrestling for now and the foreseeable future.

July Is Here

When the month of June began a month ago, I expected so many positive things to happen.  Since school was physically over, I expected my birthday to be a blast, see my friends a lot, and succeed at a lot of endeavors like blogging, school, and other things.  But as time went on, many of those things didn't happen or go the way I wanted to even when they did happen.  It caused a lot of stress and worry for me, which wasn't helped by the humidity and the warmness of the summer weather.  Luckily, a few things did go my way, like my health being alright, seeing all my friends at least once, and doing well on my midterms, which has allowed me to blog again and calm down.  June was a difficult month for me for so many reasons, but July is here now, and now it's time to move on, progress, and see where life takes me.  We can never tell these things, but hopefully, July is a better month than June!

Catching Up With An Old Friend

I saw one of my closest friends yesterday that I hadn't seen in ages.  It had been so long that we didn't even remember the last time we saw each other, so we were looking forward to doing a lot.  When he showed up, we talked, watched a film, and went out to eat.  It might not seem like much, but it was, 7 hours to be exact.  My only regret was that we didn't have more time, but next time we hang out, we will.  It was just great seeing him and catching up, like it always is when you see good friends.  Hopefully, in the next few weeks, more good things will come.

Hello June, Good-Bye May

Today is the first day of June, which I welcome considering how long May seemed.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed May for the most part, and everything that happened during it.  I finished college physically, attended my first real wedding, saw friends, family, and loved ones, but it was a hectic time period.  I started summer classes, and I went through some difficult personal things that are still on my mind.  I'm making amends, but it's hard not to think about what's happened.  That's why, I hope June is a great month.  It's not only the start of summer, but by then I'll be halfway done with classes and know where I stand.  Not to mention, it's my birthday tomorrow, so here's hoping all my dreams/wishes come true.

Kevin Durant: Most Valuable Person

Kevin Durant won his first MVP award a few days ago, which was expected, considering the season he had, carrying the small market Oklahoma City Thunder to one of the best records in the NBA yet again.  But one thing that wasn't expected, was the emotional and powerful speech he gave, where he cried and thanked all those who helped him get to where he is today.  He thanked teammates, family members, friends and even people I didn't expect, like staff.  KD is a humble person, but you usually wouldn't relate that to a star player in his league.  Everything KD had to endure in his life made him the person he is, though.  He had a poor and tough upbringing, not to mention being second his whole life in basically everything.  He's such a good human being with everything he's done to help others, not to mention being an ambassador for the game by being a good role model.  Most people say athletes shouldn't be role models, and they're probably right because their lifestyle is something few of us will ever reach, but I don't have trouble saying I'm influenced by KD.  And I hope others are as well.

I get so annoyed when people say KD made himself look weak by crying, but I think if people use that against him, then they're the weak ones, attacking an innocent person who was just being emotional because he was so happy.  Yes, he cried, but so what?  We all do it.  Just because he is an athlete, does that mean he is not allowed to have feelings?  I hate how society judges a person just off of one thing.  KD has done so much, but people don't even care about the past, they only care about the now.  To those people, I say shame on them because they're missing the point of who KD is, and what his speech truly entailed.  He was overjoyed he won the MVP award, but he also wanted to give thanks to all those he loved in his life.  Anyone who does that, and doesn't forget who they are and where they came from is a good person to me.

Kevin Durant, I might be a Boston Celtics fan, but I'm rooting for you and your Thunder to win it all.  You might have come second so many times, but you're a first rate person to me.

The speech in its entirety

Noisy Neighbors

If you've ever lived anywhere in the world, unless it's a desolate area, or the closest home/person is a few miles away, odds are you've had a neighbor.  I've had one my whole life, including at school, but since I live in an apartment/boarding house during the school year, I feel as though I have multiple neighbors.  It's not the worst thing in the world since they're all nice people, and more people around makes the place feel more safe, but there are times when they get on my nerves.  Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them; I've certainly had worst in the past, but it's the subtle things they do that annoy me.  Like always using the bathroom when I need to (and taking forever to do it), leaving lights on, not controlling their pets, letting their kids run around, making lots of noise, etc.  I want to tell them to behave, but I know it's not the nice thing to do.  Then again, I wish people were more courteous or aware that when you share a house with someone else, there are other people who live there too.  I know this is all part of life, and one day, when I get my own place, I'll have new neighbors I have to put up with, but at least then, I'll have some quiet.  Now, it's always hectic.  I don't know what to do about the situation, but all I'm going to do is put some headphones in, and blur out the noise until it's gone.

Less than a month to go, and I won't be a neighbor anymore... 

Reconnected

Yesterday, I reactivated my Facebook account for the first time in about 3 and a half years.  It was a momentous occasion because it had been so long, but I remembered why I left in the first place: because of personal reasons, it distracted me from school, and it was starting to get boring to the point that I wasn't even interacting with my friends anymore.  That was why I left, but I decided yesterday now was the time to come back.  And after waiting the mandatory 24 hours it took to reactivate my Facebook account again, I was back online.

My first thoughts were on the new format, since the last time I was on, timeline didn't even exist yet.  It took forever to get used to everything, but after hitting a few buttons and moving some things around, I think I'm getting used to it.  Although, like many, I'll always like whatever the previous format was better.  After doing that, I un-friended about 230+ of my 320 friends, which was harsh because some of the people were people I really liked or used to talk to, but that's the point.  We used to talk and be friends, but not anymore with everything that's happened, and all the time that has passed, so for Facebook to truly be mine and personal, I had to give many people the ax.  Hopefully, they don't take it personally.  It feels weird having so few friends, but it feels so right too.  I'll always have issues and worry with privacy when it comes to social media and anything online, but this is a step in the right direction, and having only the people I want know about me.

With it being over 24 hours since I've been online, I have to say, it feels good to be back on Facebook, being caught up with the world, and my friends, who are always going to be the most important people in the world (besides family).  I've been so overwhelmed with the likes and positive comments I've received, thatI could cry.  Is Facebook still distracting?  Yes and no.  Yes, because it's social media, so like anything involving people, it will distract, but the time away has made me realize I don't need to be on it all the time.  And with the new format, that isn't too hard to do.  You've been gone from my life for awhile Facebook, but I think now, I'm here to stay.

Expressive Body Art

When you think of art, you usually think of something like a great film or painting.  But while I do think of those things, when I think of art, I think the kind that comes to mind the most is body art, such as piercings or tattoos.  Because of their commonness, most wouldn't consider them art forms, but I do, since they can have a vast array of designs, and are unique to the particular person that has them.  For instance, one of my friends, who I love very dearly, has tons of piercings and loves turtles.  She loves them so much that she has a huge tattoo of them on her back.  Cool enough on its own, but because of the significance of it to her, I think about it a lot differently (since I've never seen it in person before) the way I do a lot body art now.

I have to be honest, though.  As a child, I thought piercings and tattoos were weird.  Not that there was anything wrong with them, but people got them in such odd spots, and I always heard stories about infections or worst.  But as I got older, like a lot of things people do now, such as drink, I just let people live their lives the way they want them to, without interfering.  That's hard to do sometimes because my life interacts with a lot of those people, but if they're happy, and expressing themselves in their own unique way, what's wrong with that?  It seems as though people are always criticized or oppressed for being/doing something different, but I applaud those people for doing something true to them.  That takes a lot of courage, and is not easy to do, especially in the type of judgmental world we live in.  I know because of fears I have, germophobia, and my physique, I will never get an ear piercing or tattoo, but I'll always admire people who are happy and fearless being themselves, whether by art or their personality.  That's something I think a lot of us are still searching for, including myself.  I know who I am, and what makes me happy, but a lot of times, I'm not... 

Perfect Ending To A Good Day

The past few weeks haven't been kind to me, with all the schoolwork I've had, and all these health issues arising, but today, was the best day I've had in awhile.  I got to hang out with all of my close friend's left here in Boston, and have dinner with them in Chinatown.  It only lasted a few hours, and I didn't get to say as much as I would have liked, but any time is better than no time, and it was great to see them, especially one of my friend's in particular, since I was able to give her a late birthday present.  Life is always going to throw something difficult at you, but when you have days like today that end the way you want them to, it gives you hope for the future and life itself.  Hopefully, the rest of my break is this good, and I get to see the people I love again.  But till then, I'll keep doing what I need to do and hoping!

The Spring Break That Isn't

Spring Break officially starts for me today, which would usually be a cause for joyous celebration, but I can't help but not celebrate, because I have a lot of work assigned over break.  Besides the normal homework I would usually have, I also have 2-3 projects that I need to start soon.  They aren't due till April, but before you know it, break will be over.  And if you think about it, we aren't that far from April.  I know I don't have to start anything with so much time, but better safe than sorry.  I just wish that teachers didn't assign so much work over break.  I understand they have to because the school administration, but I don't think they would like having to do so much work over their vacations, so why pin it on us?  I know teachers are very busy, but it's hard to call something break when we still have so much work to do.  But, I'll take it.  I think anyone who has Spring Break this week could use it, and I'm sick and tired of the weather.

Since this is my last Spring Break as a student, I'll try to enjoy it to the fullest!

Wishlists

My friends who I hang out with at home have this hilarious tradition where we each give each other Gatorade on each others birthdays.  I started the tradition years ago, and looking back, I don't know why I did, but I'm glad I did since it shows how laid back my friends are, and takes the pressure off me getting my friends real presents.  Unfortunately, that philosophy doesn't apply with everyone.  Nor would I want it to.  Recently, when I talked to one of my school friends, they told me that they dreaded getting their friends presents for special occasions.  I didn't understand why since I always thought it was challenging and fun trying to get your friends something, but I could see why she thought that way.  It's tough trying to figure out what to get somebody, especially if you want to make it sincere or have to use a lot of money.  Usually, I escape the problem by getting or making my friends cards, but I know I can't do that for everyone.  So what's a person to do?

That is when my friend and I talked about lists, specifically wishlists.  She said that she preferred her friends tell her what to get them, or give her a wishlist, like on Amazon, but I didn't know if I agreed.  Sure, that makes things simpler, but is it better that way?  Is it fun?  And are you spreading a false message by giving someone what they want, when we all know that you can't have everything you want in life.  Maybe I'm thinking too deep about this, but what do you think?

Question: Do you have/like something like an Amazon wishlist?  What do you think about it?  And do you like being told what to get a person, or having the freedom to choose what to give them?

Peace Out Break!

I'm going back to school for this upcoming semester later on today, which means a number things.  Besides the fact I won't be able to watch any football games, that means my winter break is over.  It's a pretty sad revelation, considering that my last final was barely over a month ago, but all things eventually have to end so there's progression in life.  I always enjoy my breaks since it's time away from school, and an opportunity to see friends, but this break, I didn't do much of it.  I enjoyed the holidays while they were here, and saw a decent number of my friends, but after New Year's, everyone got busier, so I couldn't see them.  Like I've said before, I know this happens, but I'm still pretty bummed out about it.  I had so many expectations and plans this break, but nothing I really wanted to do happened which stinks.

But like many things in life, you have to put anything negative behind you and move on.  I wish I could have done more over break, but now that it's over, I'm hoping I do well in school in my final semester. 

Waiting For Nothing

Humans have broad spectrum's of emotions, from good ones to bad ones.  I wish I could say I was happy most of the time, but because of everything I deal with (like most people), I'm pretty stressed, which makes me feel down.  Lots of things make me feel this way, but I don't know if anything makes me feel worse than just waiting.  Waiting is a part of life for everyone, but for me, waiting builds up into anxiety, which causes me to think too much about so many things.  For example, currently, this whole week, I haven't really talked to anyone via text or anything.  No one has tried to contact me, and the people I've tried to contact haven't responded back at all.  I understand that happens because we all get busy, but it's sad when you don't hear from people in awhile, especially when it's your friends.  I know this is a feeling that will pass, but I hope that my friend's are doing well, and that this feeling ends soon.

The Year In Review

There's only a few hours left in 2013, which is hard to fathom, considering how I never thought I'd make it to this point so many times this year.  During those times, things really did feel that bad, but now that I've had some time to reflect, they weren't that terrible;  I struggled with family, relationship, and school issues like any person, but I got through them to have one of my best years in ages.  Yes, lots of my friends moved away, but I've still been in contact and seen some of them.  I got my best grades in school this past calender year, and I've progressed a lot in terms or my confidence, which is important for the future.  It's always sad to move on from something good, but no need to feel down, since that just means more opportunities in the future. 

It's not New Year's yet, but Happy New Year everyone!  Let's make 2014 as great as 2013 was!

I often ask/wonder what New Year's means, and this sums it up pretty nicely

Friends Forever?

As I get older, one of the things that surprises me is how scared I am of lots of things.  Most people think you're more scared as a child, but that's only because of age and discovering fear for the first time.  Once you get older, I think you get scared about the responsibilities of school, being on your own, and what I've started to notice the past few years, which is that the people who once mattered in my life aren't around that much anymore; it's something that pertains not just to family, but friends as well.

When I was in high school, I had this absurd notion that my closest friends and I would stay friends forever.  Where I got this notion from?  I'm honestly not sure.  I know some of it was from TV because all the shows I watched like Boy Meets World and Saved By The Bell had their friends staying together for life.  Another influence were my parents because they both still keep in contact with friends from their childhood.  And if they could do it, why not me?  My friends and I were close, we were good people, and most of all, we had core values that were unique and made us stick together.  But even we couldn't plan for the future.  There were other schools outside of state, new job opportunities, the chance to start life anew, or people were just busy with their own priorities if they were still here.  It's something that's hard for me to adjust to, but I understand it since we're all getting older now.

Currently, I have what I would define as no social life.  Most of my high school friends are gone or too busy with their own stuff.  And others, I just grew apart from or had falling outs like all people do.  It's sad things ended up that way, especially since at the time, we almost seemed inseparable, but you can't be friends with everyone your whole life, which is why I'm glad for the few friends that are still there for me.  We all may still have our whole lives ahead of us, but there's a reason why we're still friends, and I hope we break the trend and do last forever.

What People Want

My Psychology and Women class did an activity a few weeks ago that was minor, but left a huge impression on me.  It was this activity called 5 for 5, where my teacher asks us 5 questions in 5 minutes which we have to answer as best we can.  Most of the time, the questions were standard, like what did you think of class, or do you have any thoughts/concerns about the class, but one question she asked really stuck out to me.  What are the three most important things to you about relationships?  Now, because we had been learning about Intimate Partner Violence, this was a touchy subject with lots of information new to me.  But it also stood out because of how I feel about love, which is idealistic and optimistic; it didn't always used to be like that though, especially with my struggles and how I've seen others handle it.  This was a minor question, but it was something that required a lot of thought.

I thought long and hard about the question for a few seconds, with countless words going through my head: honesty, love, communication, friendship, effort, trust, equality, happiness, etc. among others.  If it were possible, I would have listed all of them, but I could only pick three, which was not an easy thing to do.  I knew things like honesty and love had to be there, but things like communication and happiness intertwined.  It was not easy to do, but in the end, I picked love, honesty, and effort as the most important things in a relationship in that order.  Putting love first could be seen as negative to some, but I meant love in the sense that it was important for someone to actually have feelings and care about you as a person, which mixes in with many things.  Honesty speaks for itself, and things like communication and trust went with effort.  I handed in my answers feeling okay, but then instantly wondered if I had made a mistake.  Then again, how can you make a mistake on how you feel?

A few weeks later, the results were read for what both men and women thought was necessary for a relationship.  I forget the women's first choice, but honesty and sense of humor made their top 3, which I thought was brilliant and amazing, since sense of humor is something I think about all the time that seems obvious, yet it didn't even cross my mind once.  For the men, they picked love, honesty, and communication, which startled everyone in the class.  Now, the results may not seem shocking since obviously a lot of people thought the same things were necessary, but because of what we've been learning in our class, it would seem as though most people desire something sexual or artificial in a relationship, but we proved that relationships were changing with the times, and that some men and women wanted the same things now compared to before.

I've thought about everything in depth since then, and still wonder what the most important things are to a relationship, but I honestly think there isn't one answer.  It's a variety of answers, like the ones I listed before since many people want different things.  But while we all want a number different things, one thing I think we can all agree on is that we all want to be happy and help make the people we love and care about happy as well. 

What do you think though?  Are there things you value in more in a relationship than others?  And do you seem similarities between what men and women want, or do you think they are different?