That's My Boy

That's My Boy (R)

Grade: F

• Directed by: Sean Anders
• Produced by: Adam Sandler, Allen Covert, Jack Giarraputo, and Heather Parry
• Screenplay by: David Caspe
• Starring: Adam Sandler (Donald "Donny" Berger), Andy Samberg (Todd Peterson/Hans Solo Berger), Leighton Meester (Jamie Martin), Susan Sarandon (Mary McGarricle), Ciara (Brie), Vanilla Ice (Himself), Milo Ventimiglia (Chad Martin), Rex Ryan (Jim Nance)
• Cinematographer: Brandon Trost
• Music by: Rupert Gregson-Williams
• Studio:  Happy Madison Productions, Relativity Media
• Distributed by: Columbia Pictures
• Released: June 15, 2012
• Running Time: 114 minutes/ 1 hour and 54 minutes
• Language: English

I've been meaning to do this film review for awhile now, but I put it off for so long because of how terrible the film is.  Back in the day, as a child, I loved Adam Sandler films from "Big Daddy", "Happy Gilmore", to "The Wedding Singer".  And while they definitely weren't the best films critically, at least I could always get a few laughs from it, and some quotable material.  Not this time, though.  Like the past few Sandler flicks, which have had a lot more adult humor, this film reeks.  Thankfully, I didn't buy this film, I saw it on my friend's house on demand, but I wish I didn't because now I can't get it out of my mind.

The plot of this film starts with young Donny Berger in 1984, a big shot student who's got the hots for his teacher.  He's living out every kid's fantasy, but gets a welcome surprise when his wish comes true, and he has a sexual relationship with his teacher, getting her pregnant.  She goes to prison, so he is punished by having to raise the child, who grows up being a boy he names Hans Solo Berger.  Fast forward to 2012, Donny is a broke alcoholic, who has to raise $43,000 to the IRS.  Otherwise, he will go to prison like his teacher.  He has no means to get the money besides his son; the problem is, he's changed his name to Todd Peterson, and now they're estranged, so he'll have to find a way to get back into his life.

As I sit here typing, there is nothing positive I can say about this film.  It made me laugh, but lots of terrible films do that, and it didn't make me do it in a good way; it felt dirty throughout.  There was obscenities, terrible dialogue, violence, and cameos from famous people that should have given me a hint that this film was going to stink.  It's disgusting; I don't ever give spoilers, but if you find a guy having sex with a grandmother or his sister funny, then you'll find this film entertaining.  If I had to say anything positive about this film, it's that Leighton Meester, the actress who played Jamie, was attractive.  But other than that, use your brain on something more useful.  I wish I could say more, but there's nothing else to say.  To quote the late great Roger Ebert, Mr. Sandler, "Your movie stinks!"